Screaming like a stuck mynock.

Will actually looks rather as he normally does in Sherwood, just a bit more so, his cloak is billowing.

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"My ears have gone funny." Guppy says, coming up to them. "Where are we?"

His ears have become long and pointed, and he's wearing a light blue shirt and some glowy white three quarter length trousers with a black belt around the middle. He has a sort of digital look about him.

"Or, should I ask, what are we?"

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Atton eyes Guppy. Eyes his ears. Eyes Will.

Nearby, an elegant, berobed elf approaches.

"Welcome, brave adventurers," His tone is immeasurably snide, as if the term is simultaneously a sarcastic comment, an accusation, and an expression of disgust. "This is the Age of Ooze, a magical world of swords, sorcery and adventure. We are very glad that you are here, courageous travelers, for the world is in grave danger." Almost every word uttered is said as if the elf finds it repulsive, and with a great deal of spitting.

Once the monologue is done, the elf spits in Atton's face. He blinks, wiping it away slowly.

"... Hello to you, too."

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Will moves forward and peers at the elf,

"Na need to be so rude. We've got 'nough 'dventures on our own."

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Guppy also moves forward. He's suddenly realised he's gained some extra muscles.

"You degrade yourself most with your rudeness." he says to the elf. "Nevertheless, my friend is a great warrior, so you can keep your poor hygeine to yourself."

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"Oh, someone's getting into character quickly," the elf says, snidely, one eyebrow twitching. "We have ones like that. The Age of Ooze is a thousand years old. They wanted the experience to be as realistic as possible, so they used actual artificial intelligences. The players get reset every so often to avoid going insane - Do you know how horrifying it is to explain the same thing every day to the same morons?"

Pause. The elf points over at a fountain.
"That's the Garden's weapons trader."

There's a man there, curled up on himself.
"But why do they keep asking for the level ten weapons? They know I only have the level one weapons. They know. They do it to taunt me. They want to drive me insane. I'm not insane. They're insane. I should slice them."

An armoured woman approaches.
"Lols do you have a level ten flamesword lols?"

The weapons trader shrieks incoherently and runs away from her.

Atton watches the proceedings with mild interest.
"Well, okay, then."

The elf sneers, slightly.
"Raise your index fingers and touch the air, as if you're pressing a button. Your character profiles will appear. They have been created after studying your brains."

Atton tries this, raising one finger and pressing an invisible button. A blue menu with white, old-looking text appears.

Name: Doran.
Species: Human.
Class: Black Mage/Thief.
Weapon: Knife.
Spells: Burnination, Lightningstrike, Blizzard, Tidal Wave.

"Huh," Atton says again.

Nearby, a passing gnome looks up at the profile.
"Lol haxx." It continues on again, cheerfully.

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This is all really weird but Will presses the button thing and up pops:

Name: Will the Wily
Species: Human
Class: Fighter/Thief
Weapon: Sword

"Didna know I was wily."

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Guppy follows suit.

Name: Tetra
Species: Elf
Class: White Mage/Blackbelt.
Weapon: Nunchucks.
Spells: Heal, Force Field, Reflect, Recharge

"Sweeet. How do I cast spells?"

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With a long suffering sigh: "Use your middle finger to press the same invisible button. Your spell list will appear. Select a spell from the list and use your hand to direct it." The elf's eyebrow twitches again. "Is that all?"

Atton pauses, poking Guppy's side.

"Blackbelt. You are more muscly than usual. Not that you aren't usually muscly, of course."

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"Oh aye, seems simple 'nough. Now just 'ave to find the fellow we're lookin' for then."

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Guppy grins at Atton.

"Shame I don't have my camera, can I get a screencap?"

Not that he's vain or anything, but he's never going to get the chance again...

"Do we have unlimited spell casting energy, or do we have to recharge? How can we access details of our hit points?"

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Pat. "I'm sure you can."

The elf rolls his eyes.

"Little finger button-pressing will show you hit points, status effects, and mana."

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"Aye, seems simple 'nough."

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Guppy nods.

"Thank you." he says to the elf. "See, there was no need for spitting."

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The elf responds by spitting at Guppy, then wandering away.

"Big city," Atton remarks, looking at the city in the distance.

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"Oh aye, 'opefully can find what we're lookin' for there."

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Guppy looks like he's about to go after the elf, but makes do with making rude gestures at his back with his nunchucks.

"Have we got a map feature?" he asks, wiping his face.

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"Don't think so. Guess we just walk in its general direction and hope the gate is big and obvious."

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"Probably is since seems to be true o'most things 'ere."

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Guppy puts his nunchucks away.

"Okay, let's go."

Edited Date: 2009-04-10 10:10 pm (UTC)

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